Healing Through Music: Discovering Emotional Freedom in the Lyrics of Bird Talkers 'Heavy'
In today's episode, we will explore a song that promotes healing. If you find yourself connecting with this show, chances are you might be a deeply emotional person, highly sensitive, empathic, a trauma survivor, or someone who cares for individuals with these traits. This is why you're tuning in. We, as humans, are deeply emotional beings. Talk therapy and healing have limitations because merely discussing an issue is different from experiencing it. It is through experience that we feel and undergo transformations. Many of our traumas are experiences we would never want anyone else to endure, so healing must also come in the form of experience to mend our past traumas
Overthinking and the Impact of Childhood Trauma
When we are caught up in overthinking and discussing our issues, we can fall into a state of complacency. True healing requires feeling and experiencing at the level of our bodies, transcending the mental realm. This process transforms head knowledge into body knowledge, leading to a sense of healing, calmness, groundedness, wholeness, maturity, and security.
Experience is an excellent healer and teacher. To achieve healing, we need to move beyond the mind and into the body. Many of us are overthinkers, and it can be challenging to distinguish between body knowledge and head knowledge, or between thinking and feeling. It is essential to strike a balance, focusing on being more present in our bodies rather than in our thoughts, to achieve inner peace.
Childhood chaos, trauma, or insecure parenting can cause excessive overthinking as our young minds attempt to make sense of the fear, confusion, and instability surrounding us. This overthinking becomes a symptom of growing up in a stressful or fearful environment. This is where music comes in. Music has the power to move us and evoke emotions, providing a different form of processing than thinking and dwelling on our thoughts and past experiences. Music can unlock deeper parts of our psyche and help release what no longer serves us.
Traumas and betrayals don't occur in our thoughts but as experiences. We carry the pain forward because we are wired to learn from these events. Our minds believe that hypervigilance is the best way to keep us safe, constantly on guard. However, this approach exhausts us and doesn't prevent bad things from happening. Hypervigilance can even create more problems for us.
If we seek healing from a traumatic past, we must embrace change and new experiences. We need to shift our familiarity from stress to calmness, comfort, peace, and inner sanctuary. Dysfunction and healing both arise from experience. As we engage in healing through experience, the feelings associated with positive experiences serve as our guides, helping us navigate and work through our emotions and issues.
I never anticipated that working closely with people on their healing journey would involve sharing music with each other. Music is a way for us to connect, express intimacy, and share emotions like joy, sadness, grief, or release. The song I'm sharing today comes from someone I've worked with, and I am grateful for their journey and this song that I now hold dear to my heart. I'll be discussing the lyrics of this powerful song by Bird Talkers, so bear with me.
Loneliness, HSP’s, and Narcissistic Relationships
The first theme I want to address is loneliness, which has become a widespread issue in modern times. This song begins by encouraging listeners to explore the reasons behind their loneliness. Loneliness can be experienced when we're alone or even when surrounded by others. Highly sensitive people often feel alienated because they're simply different. Loneliness is a significant issue worldwide and particularly within our highly sensitive community. It's one reason I created a Patreon – to provide a space for our tribe. Many people express their loneliness through tears and seek solutions to this problem. As cliché as it sounds, the answer to this deep-rooted loneliness is learning to become our own best friends, especially if we experienced loneliness as children due to unsafe or unsupportive environments. In healing, we must be our own best advocates and recognize the importance of external connections.
A sad reality for many highly sensitive people is that they often attract narcissistic individuals before they work on themselves and understand the world's dynamics. This realization may lead to the need for setting boundaries or walking away from certain relationships. Additionally, life causes people to grow apart, and we lose people along the way. In American society, there seems to be an expectation that friendships formed in our younger years should last a lifetime. However, this mindset doesn't serve highly sensitive people or survivors well. As we age, we tend to prioritize quality over quantity in our relationships, leading to fewer but more meaningful connections.
The song also highlights that we're all lonely together. Despite increased social media connectivity, many of us still feel disconnected. In moments of loneliness, consider that someone else in the world might be experiencing the same feeling, connecting you in shared loneliness. By choosing thoughts that foster connection, we can alleviate feelings of loneliness.
Being highly sensitive often involves dealing with loneliness and managing emotions. By learning to be our own best friend, we can navigate life more effectively. The song's lyrics emphasize the importance of being witnessed, a vital yet seldom-discussed human need. Therapy and healing work because they offer a space for people to be seen and heard.
Acknowledging and Embracing Our Dark Side
This song highlights the importance of acknowledging and understanding our dark side. Self-love cannot be fully achieved without embracing our darker aspects. If you have experienced childhood trauma, your dark side may have been pushed further into the shadows. This is not something to be ashamed of but instead to understand and accept as a part of who you are. As a confident, caring, and truthful person, I am also aware that I have a dark side. If this admission unsettles you, it might be a sign that you haven't confronted or integrated your own dark side. It's crucial to find peace with our darker aspects through work and intention.
I have a dark sense of humor and rarely get offended by jokes. My husband, who produces the show, was a professional comedian before we met. Initially, I assumed he would have a darker sense of humor than me, but I soon realized I had the darker mind. This realization forced me to confront my own self-love, accept who I am, and understand why it made me uncomfortable.
In my work with highly sensitive individuals and trauma survivors, I specialize in grief and addiction. My dark mind is particularly suited to helping people through addiction. I also hail from New Orleans, where people from port cities have a unique character. I believe the history of sailors and their curses have shaped us, giving us foul mouths and dark minds. On this podcast, however, I maintain a cleaner tone to be accessible to more listeners.
Understanding your dark side is part of the human experience and helps with forgiving others who display their dark side. It doesn't mean being a doormat, but learning to take responsibility, forgive ourselves and others, and move on. By embracing our dark side, we can better cope with life's challenges.
The song ‘Heavy’ by Bird Talkers encourages listeners to explore their dark side and experience a cathartic cry. It's important to release emotional baggage, just as we need to eliminate waste from our bodies. Unfortunately, we aren't taught emotional management the way we're potty trained. Through healing, we can learn to express emotions safely and effectively.
Understanding the Importance of Being Witnessed
Growing up in dysfunctional homes can lead to feelings of invisibility. Through mindfulness and cultivating an inner wise adult, we can witness ourselves and attract others who will bear witness to our lives. Ultimately, embracing our dark side and learning to manage loneliness will help us lead more fulfilling lives.
Observe how the singer of this song emphasizes, "I want to be let in." Some of you may desperately need to hear this from someone. There are times in life when you should stop striving to be noticed by those who can't see you, and listened to by those who are disinterested. Avoid trying to force the uninterested to acknowledge you. Learning to care for oneself involves navigating relationships that can range from healthy to deeply dysfunctional. It's crucial to reduce the focus on the words people say. Many individuals may express their desire to see, hear, and support you, but their actions don't align with their words. Pay attention to how they show up and what they do, rather than solely relying on their words.
There are individuals willing to witness your life and support you, whether it's through professional help or emotionally mature friends. The song's chorus repeatedly states, "Leave what's heavy, what's heavy behind." If you don't leave the burdens behind, you'll carry them throughout your life, causing fatigue and stress. Embrace the practice of letting go as a life strategy. Develop this skill and change your perspective on what no longer serves you or never did, allowing yourself to feel lighter.
Life will always present challenges, but cultivating ease within ourselves can make it more manageable. By letting go of heavy burdens, we can move forward more easily. The song's lyrics encourage gratitude and self-forgiveness as essential elements of personal growth. Recognizing and appreciating even the simplest aspects of our lives can help shift our mindset and foster a sense of connection with others.
Letting Go of Heavy Burdens and Cultivating Ease
The song's anti-victim mentality encourages us to leave our heavy burdens behind, rather than clinging to them as proof of our suffering. Embrace self-forgiveness and accept our imperfections as part of the human experience. As we learn to forgive ourselves, it becomes easier to forgive others and embrace our shared humanity. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude and empathy can help create a sense of connection and support, regardless of our backgrounds or relationships.
For those who have gone no-contact with family members, know that it's possible to find love, support, and connection with chosen families. Despite the challenges and uncertainties, stepping into the unknown can lead to personal growth and a fulfilling life. The song "Heavy" by Bird Talkers serves as a reminder to not just listen to its message, but to embody and embrace it. Grant yourself the permission to leave behind what's heavy and experience a lighter, more liberated life.
Episode Tags
- ADD 1
- Abuse 14
- Alcohol 3
- Anger 8
- Bullying 4
- Childhood 35
- Codependency 6
- Covid 4
- Crystal Catalina 7
- Depression 15
- Detachment 2
- Disassociation 4
- Emotions 70
- Existentialism 1
- Faith 1
- Family 24
- Fatigue 4
- Focus 3
- Gratitude 11
- Grief 8
- Guilt 2
- Healers 7
- Healing 52
- High Sensation 4
- Hope 1
- Hypervigilance 7
- Introverts 6
- Lonliness 7
- Love 3
- Manifesting 5
- Manipulation 16
- Men 1
- Mindfulness 37
- Money 10
- Music 3
- Nutrition 3
- Overthinking 8
- PTSD 11
- Parenting 12
- People Pleasing 6
- Perfectionism 6
- Pets 4
- Relationships 11
- Resiliency 12
- Sadness 1
- Self Esteem 15
- Self Love 11
- Self-Care 24
- Sex 1
- Shame 4
Episode Tags
- ADD 1
- Abuse 14
- Alcohol 3
- Anger 8
- Bullying 4
- Childhood 35
- Codependency 6
- Covid 4
- Crystal Catalina 7
- Depression 15
- Detachment 2
- Disassociation 4
- Emotions 70
- Existentialism 1
- Faith 1
- Family 24
- Fatigue 4
- Focus 3
- Gratitude 11
- Grief 8
- Guilt 2
- Healers 7
- Healing 52
- High Sensation 4
- Hope 1
- Hypervigilance 7
- Introverts 6
- Lonliness 7
- Love 3
- Manifesting 5
- Manipulation 16
- Men 1
- Mindfulness 37
- Money 10
- Music 3
- Nutrition 3
- Overthinking 8
- PTSD 11
- Parenting 12
- People Pleasing 6
- Perfectionism 6
- Pets 4
- Relationships 11
- Resiliency 12
- Sadness 1
- Self Esteem 15
- Self Love 11
- Self-Care 24
- Sex 1
- Shame 4
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