Resilience Building 101: Mental Fortitude Meets Modern Parenting

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Part I: Addressing Mental Health Perspectives

Recently, there has been a rise in discussions about the idea of resilience in mental health and societal expectations. While many people advocate for a "tougher" attitude to navigate life's challenges, there are others who believe they shouldn't have to adopt this mindset. As time has progressed, societal values and expectations have significantly shifted. The emphasis on being resilient and tough has become a cornerstone of many life philosophies.

Yet, why might some individuals believe they shouldn't have to be tough? In the realm of mental health, should-based thoughts are often termed irrational beliefs. These beliefs are tempting for our human egos. They feel right, they feel virtuous, and they resonate with our inner child's ideals. However, the truth often contrasts with these beliefs. Take for example, the belief that "No child should go hungry." While virtuous and arguably correct, the reality is children still go hungry every day.

The danger lies in spending too much time and energy on these "should" thoughts. They not only drain us mentally but also divert our attention from the actionable steps we can take in our daily lives. Instead of dwelling on what should be, it's more productive to ask how we can make a change. The shift from "I should make more money" to "How do I make more money?" is more empowering and constructive.

Part II: Modern Parenting and Its Implications

The societal shift is also evident in the realm of parenting. In contrast to the strict parenting styles of the past, recent decades have witnessed a trend towards more lenient, permissive parenting. Some parents now believe that a good childhood is one devoid of hardships and filled with ease and entertainment. This has led to children who are not used to hearing the word "no" and who expect life to cater to their every whim.

Yet, this shift in parenting dynamics might be correlated with the rise in anxiety and depression among youth. The lack of boundaries, discipline, and exposure to real-world challenges might be rendering children ill-equipped to face life's adversities as they grow up. There are alarming instances of young adults showing aggressive reactions to opposing views, perhaps stemming from their unfamiliarity with rejection or disagreement.

There's also the increasing prevalence of codependency observed in parent-child relationships. The inability to say "no" might not necessarily be in the child's best interest but may cater more to a parent's need to avoid discomfort.

Moreover, this parenting style, coupled with the lack of life skills like critical thinking and decision-making, could be contributing to the rising addiction rates. Without the ability to self-regulate and the mental tools to navigate life's challenges, many might turn to addictive substances or behaviors as coping mechanisms.

Life is unpredictable and can present unforeseen challenges. It's essential to equip ourselves and the next generation with the skills and mindset to handle them effectively.

 
 
 

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NIkki Eisenhauer

M.Ed, LPC, LCDC

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Strategies for Dealing with Tragedy

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Healing Through Family Histories & Ancestral Traumas